This is a long and sadness entry

Its been a long journey for me...through this week, until the end of today..Friday..
So much happend lately..make me feel really bad about the weeding preparation....
...oh btw, for those who didnt know yet..i'm getting married soon...
in two month starting from now...(should i shout and say yeay?)

I'm not used to write the weeding preparation here..since i have a blog to talk about the weed peep..
But, this entry have the very sad feeling..
I just put it here..sorry for that if you feel it kinda not a right place...

Because this sad feeling keep mixing with all my life journey...the all struggle to reach the right time..
And until this moment...
I still keep wondering is this the right time to get married?, to changing a work? to spread my study? to move at JB? to done everthing?
Owh..you'll never know when the time is..

I still remember some of the entry from LadyNoe
>>>Enjoy mcm mana yg kau nak?<<<
I've read it and i totally agreed..
When you have you own life especially with someone you call husband..you will know what type of pleasure it was..
Yeah..i admit it..it is heaven bebeh!

But..

In my situation..I'm really still considering if this is the right time to get married...
This is not about i am not satisfy enough having all good time in my life
Not really..this not about that..

This issue is about the preparation on getting through life before and after getting married...
The thing that you should know is i'm alone in this 'getting married' thing..
Yes, i'm the elder sister..and the one who struggle to make the day come true is only me!

Ok married is the once in life thing..
No second chance..
So i'm working on it..to make it perfect...(small offence stil can be excepted..=)
But among all that listed work need to be done..i need someone (or many) to help me..
And at this moment i really wish that i have a sister or brother, so i can lay everything to her/him...
Ask her/him to help me on many things..

Oh..i'm not relly confident to my dad..because he have done one thing that i can't forgive (until i say so..).
And my mum..NO..she work alot to reunite my family together..i dont want to burden her any..

So who's on the list after mum and dad?
No other siblings that i can depend on..
So..next is my fiancee..

But its been a though week for us..
I really dont know what kind of help should i ask from him..
Because any favor that i ask will bring him more stress on our situation..

Ok, there a lot of thing make us really bad with the 'getting married' situation...
My fiancee are working with his friend right now..he own his own company and he do the sub contarct job to his friend..
His friend is ok..the problem is..worker of his friend..they re not helping enough on completing the job such as do the arrangement,part ordering..so when the deadline is up..my fiancee are really deadmeat...nobody cant do that wiring job in one day ok!
Cut it short, not meet the deadline, so no money and you got fine for that..understand..?

That is money problem..and i think it can be settle before we get married..we already calculating on this..
What he not calculate is for the worse case...such as receive payment late 2 or 3 month?!
Ok that is not the end of world..i still can get it settle..but i still want my dream weeding..
I dont want to cut here and there to make it 'cut cost'..nooo! that the last thing will happend!
I want to make it joyfull and bless by the other..(and we have admit it..it use more money to get this..)

Other problem is Time..
We are running out of time..
Ok, last few weeks is a stressful time at my office..
and i manage to get back around 10 to 12 at night..around that timing.
So the tiredness is my best friend at that moment..
While my fiancee have extra classes at night..every workings days night..
This class is taken to up grade his cert to more higher..
So, keep rooling the same schedule everyday..wakeup,rushing to work, go back and sleep..
No entertainment..no laughing..no joking...( ok lie! i always make joke with my friend at office..)
That what we call 'life sucks..!'

I wish i can have a day to spend with him..really..please..just one day...(my god..i'm crying writing  this sentence!)..
What, do you think i gonna spend all the day for a date or go for a movie?
NO.!
I have better plan...I want to take a pre-wed photoshot...
I got a lots of idea on what to do with the picture...
Invitation card, banner, guest book, centerpices...serius..theres A LOT..!
And the better reason is..we want to take some picture together..picture of both of us..
Because we did not have any picture taken together properly..(secretly picture snap via phone is not include ok!)

I want to have some photos of our couple/engage moment..(since hes not coming when we get engage.sad..)
I want to have some lowey-dowey fotos of us..
I want to have some lovely picture of us..
I want to have some date/picnic picture of us..
I want to have some outing/outdoor picture of us....
Yes i want that all..!

Ok,this some funny stories about the conversation on book some of his time..
> re you busy this weekdays?
> yes, i got classes
>after clasess ok?
> ok, then i'll let you know when i free
> no, you must tell me what time you'll be free because i need to book my friend for the fotoshoot
> eh, can we just use the tripod to take the pic of us together? you have the tripod right?
> yes, we can but i want it to be more properly, its hard to do the setting while we re the model
Ok you got it? for some people..they might think this conversation is cute..owhh..your fiancee is so cute..
No, for me it just make me more angry..
Ok, he is very timid person and not use to get along with a camera thing..and camera person (photographer)
So this pre-wed thing is just nice..to make hime more comfort when we got the real weeding photographer
And for me is more shame seeing someone capture their pic via dslr camera plus a tripod..taken by their own.
This situation for me is quite same when you capture your pic by your camera phone..that a more ashamed..

I just want that thing so badly at this moment..
Take a pre-wed picture with
my fiancee..

Please...what should i say..
Its been a long way until today..
I can't persuade him anymore..
I have no word then..

My wish is i have one free day for both of us..
To have a energatic pre-wed session..
And..
He have all the guts to being there..

Please...

i'm so tired

Scrap Book

Semalam aku pegi econsave...pegi sbb nk beli buku ni semata

oppss..aku bnk beli sesuatu utk Weeding Scrap book aku..tapi ini je yg ade nk menepati ciri2 yg aku nak..belasah jela..(padahal aku dh ade satu scrap book yg belum habis pakai lagi kat rumah)

Aku memang mcm tu..time aku nak tu..memang nakkkk sgt time u jugak..tapi tgk la..sampai sekarang buku tu tak berusik pun..hahaha..oh yer..tadi melawat blogspot nana ... Byk jugak hasil kerja dia dah..aky dh lama tau dia buat keje craf mcm tu..tapi baru tadi teringat nak visit page dia...ok la..not bad..dr zaman dok asrama lagi aku kenal budak ni..geng buat gaduh...haha sbb aku memang suke cari pasal dgn org..n nana ni kadang2 kememe sikit..tapi kalau silap hari nye garang bukan main..time skola2 dlu ade gak nengok dia buat benda bukan2 dok jahit ape tah..la ni dh buat bisnes..haha bagusla wei..
Aku igt nk order kat dia soh buat cover utk 'weeding scrap book' aku ni..tapi aku dok buzz dia kat blog tadi tak de sape layan pon. bsy kot makcik sorang tu..

ok ler aku nk surve tenet utk idea gubahan yg bakal MALAtop utk tahun ini...then nk kacau2 si nana ni...untung2 dapat diskaun....

warna ape yek?

saye nak warne merah/maroon, putih, black...

n mungkin ungu/pink eceptable dalam certain part

aku mahu yg itew..

comel kan? cop aaa..aku mahu yg itu di atas kek kahwin aku nnt..aku akan cari sampai jumpe kek/cupcakes specialist yg rela buat doll fondan mcm tu..if the cute'eeeer the better..!!

(pst..credit to http://capturepixstudio.blogspot.com/ sbb gamba doll ni aku amek dr sarang dia time tgh godeh2 pakej photog area jb)

hosmet encik Bola ialah seorang shooter, so aku pasti nnt majlis aku mesti dia suruh amek dgn member dia tu..sama2 member..murah la kotttt...itu aku belum pasti lagi..sbb aku tak rasa 'touch' dgn hasil kerja dia..erm..kenape ek? mybe kurang xfactor..aku teringin nk shoot dgn greenapple..aku rindu nk tgk website dorang tapi malangnye aku tak dapat track site rasmi dorang selain fotopages sbb aku lebih suke tgk portfolio dalam website biase je..
dlu aku pernah survey hasil kerja dorang..sgt best lah!..time tu aku tgk kat pic tini n sol punye soleminazation (tini hot fm)..pic dorang memang best lah..erm mybe si 'greenapple' ni memang company yg ade 'class' kot..sbb tu hasil kerja dorang pn bagus nk Tini hot fm tu tak teragak2 amek service dorang.

aku nk tapi aku rase tak dapat sbb....
1st-huhu pakej ade kelas mcm tu mesti mahal..mampu ke aku?
2nd-aku rase dia tak cover area jb (kalau cover sekali pun aku kene cover dorang pulak utk pengiapan n cost pengangkutan) mak aiiiiihh...

melepas...~~~~

~~mahu nampak cantik di saat itu~~

Preparation

sampai saat ini aku pun tak berapa sure sudah berapa percent persiapan aku utk target date itu.tapi ade beberapa barang yg aku dh beli slow2.


kain ni utk akad nikah, kale off white, kain ni aku beli dalam rm200-300, aku atk hengat sbb dah lame beli kain ni, adela dalam 1 tahun 4 bulan yang lalu..dh lame kan? utk org yg biase shopping kat jakel mybe rase price tersebut adalah munasabah, bunga dia pun halus n cantik..lgpn beli kat Jakel yg kunun nye standard nk berkualiti la..tp ku rasa cekik darah nak mampos.not mean aku menyesal beli kain ni.tapi aku rasa bg mereka yg sedang meghadkan bajet dan perbelanjaan membeli belah di jakel bukan la pilihan yg sesuai..tak payah berabis utk benda yg aku rasa aku cuma pakai time akad nikah je..so tgk la nnt mcm mane bile anta tailor..if aku jumpe design yg aku boleh pakai time akad n same time aku boleh pakai pegi kenduri/dinner/special event, so aku rase itu adalah lebih baik dan berbaloi.

aku plan nk pakai theme maroon kat engagement day, time di Jakel tu, aku jumpe satu kain yg aku agak berkenan, but the problem is price dia sgt mahal.last2 setelah kene racun dgn bola aku beli jugak..aku tak igt bape meter aku beli tapi price is around rm400-500...huhu sgt mahal..serius..!!(aku heran kenape Bola syok sgt meracun aku..padahal dh terang2 harga dia sgt mahal n bile tambah price baju nikah tadi..aroun rm800..huishh!!!) tapi bila jadik n lepas anta tailor..memang cun..walaupun tailor tu bukan yg terer sgt dalam skil jahit baju lace ni tapi bg aku ini dh ckup ok dgn price dia..but stil aku tertanye2 kenape aku beli benda yg semahal ini..pertama dalam kamus hidup aku..!!


ini pulak kain yg mak encik Bola bg..utk ape pn aku kurang pasti, mybe aku boleh buat baju utk majlis bertandang nnt, org majlis menyambut menantu belah laki, tapi aku kurang yakin dgn kaler kain ni..mybe dalam gamba ni tak nampak sgt tp kaler tersebut ialah 'kuning' ok..ditambah dgn manik ala kekuningan yg menyilau2...huish..dlu time skola2 kalau aku pakai baju n tdung kuning ade la suara2 sumbang dok ngata kat aku..yela aku dh la itam..pakai baju/tdung kuning terang menyala...huu sedey taw..time dok skola dlu..kat hostel..bape pasang sgt la baju kurung aku ade..tdung pun tu rembat yg mak aku punye..sedey beb org ngate aku time tu..aku sedar wei aku bukan cantik ala2 pungung melentik..jalan lengang2 mak ngah...uhu so how?? ape perlu aku buat dgn kain ni..waaaaa..tolong laaa....

saye ade baju tunang
tapi saye tak tau bile mahu atau bole tunang?

Counting on the day

10/10/2010

itu adalah tarikh yg menjadi target tak rasmi (tak rasmi sbb blm diputuskan oleh pihak perempuan especially mama la)..but i still keep this date as a target to start counting from now (dan minggu sebelumnye) utk prepare prop menjelang 'the weeding day' nnt.

some of this blog i found interesting which could be the best guideline for those are counting for those day like me ;)

http://www.kadkahwinku.com/pages/kad_kahwin_home.html
aku igt nk pilih kar kahwin dr galery 'kadkahwinku' ni je.tapi masih dalam penilaian.
sbb setelah dikira2..bajet utk kad kahwin yg grand(or yg menarik tertarik da boom) adalah menghampiri RM1000..ini serius..would you mind to spend this amount on card only?
haha..so aku cuba sediakan bajet RM500 sahaja.
so if i find anything interesting in this gallery and within my badget..it is really good.!!

http://misi5april2009.blogspot.com
sangat berbaloi bila anda rajin surve interenet..serius!!
ini just satu contoh blog yang mencatatkan hampir kesemua penemuan beliau dalam membuat persiapan menjelangnya 'the day'..ape yg aku perasan..beliau telah memulakan usaha nak kahwin beliau itu seawal 2 tahun sebelum hari tersebut..wow..she's very prepare for this..
hemm...berbeza dgn situasi aku yg baru dapat green light utk 'kawen' setelah 2 tahun menunggu dan menghampakan pihak lelaki terlalu lama..
nasib some of the small little thing like barang hantaran,baju tunang/nikah, baju sanggah, dah ade,just nk anta tailor utk buat n fitting size je nnt..(sedikit melegakan)
so rajin2 la buka website yg berkaitan n some of the blog get the detail for this 'weeding craziness'.. from A to Z