So much happend lately..make me feel really bad about the weeding preparation....
...oh btw, for those who didnt know yet..i'm getting married soon...
in two month starting from now...(should i shout and say yeay?)
I'm not used to write the weeding preparation here..since i have a blog to talk about the weed peep..
But, this entry have the very sad feeling..
I just put it here..sorry for that if you feel it kinda not a right place...
Because this sad feeling keep mixing with all my life journey...the all struggle to reach the right time..
And until this moment...
I still keep wondering is this the right time to get married?, to changing a work? to spread my study? to move at JB? to done everthing?
Owh..you'll never know when the time is..
I still remember some of the entry from LadyNoe
>>>Enjoy mcm mana yg kau nak?<<<
I've read it and i totally agreed..
When you have you own life especially with someone you call husband..you will know what type of pleasure it was..
Yeah..i admit it..it is heaven bebeh!
But..
In my situation..I'm really still considering if this is the right time to get married...
This is not about i am not satisfy enough having all good time in my life
Not really..this not about that..
This issue is about the preparation on getting through life before and after getting married...
The thing that you should know is i'm alone in this 'getting married' thing..
Yes, i'm the elder sister..and the one who struggle to make the day come true is only me!
Ok married is the once in life thing..
No second chance..
So i'm working on it..to make it perfect...(small offence stil can be excepted..=)
But among all that listed work need to be done..i need someone (or many) to help me..
And at this moment i really wish that i have a sister or brother, so i can lay everything to her/him...
Ask her/him to help me on many things..
Oh..i'm not relly confident to my dad..because he have done one thing that i can't forgive (until i say so..).
And my mum..NO..she work alot to reunite my family together..i dont want to burden her any..
So who's on the list after mum and dad?
No other siblings that i can depend on..
So..next is my fiancee..
But its been a though week for us..
I really dont know what kind of help should i ask from him..
Because any favor that i ask will bring him more stress on our situation..
Ok, there a lot of thing make us really bad with the 'getting married' situation...
My fiancee are working with his friend right now..he own his own company and he do the sub contarct job to his friend..
His friend is ok..the problem is..worker of his friend..they re not helping enough on completing the job such as do the arrangement,part ordering..so when the deadline is up..my fiancee are really deadmeat...nobody cant do that wiring job in one day ok!
Cut it short, not meet the deadline, so no money and you got fine for that..understand..?
That is money problem..and i think it can be settle before we get married..we already calculating on this..
What he not calculate is for the worse case...such as receive payment late 2 or 3 month?!
Ok that is not the end of world..i still can get it settle..but i still want my dream weeding..
I dont want to cut here and there to make it 'cut cost'..nooo! that the last thing will happend!
I want to make it joyfull and bless by the other..(and we have admit it..it use more money to get this..)
Other problem is Time..
We are running out of time..
Ok, last few weeks is a stressful time at my office..
and i manage to get back around 10 to 12 at night..around that timing.
So the tiredness is my best friend at that moment..
While my fiancee have extra classes at night..every workings days night..
This class is taken to up grade his cert to more higher..
So, keep rooling the same schedule everyday..wakeup,rushing to work, go back and sleep..
No entertainment..no laughing..no joking...( ok lie! i always make joke with my friend at office..)
That what we call 'life sucks..!'
I wish i can have a day to spend with him..really..please..just one day...(my god..i'm crying writing this sentence!)..
What, do you think i gonna spend all the day for a date or go for a movie?
NO.!
I have better plan...I want to take a pre-wed photoshot...
I got a lots of idea on what to do with the picture...
Invitation card, banner, guest book, centerpices...serius..theres A LOT..!
And the better reason is..we want to take some picture together..picture of both of us..
Because we did not have any picture taken together properly..(secretly picture snap via phone is not include ok!)
I want to have some photos of our couple/engage moment..(since hes not coming when we get engage.sad..)
I want to have some lowey-dowey fotos of us..
I want to have some lovely picture of us..
I want to have some date/picnic picture of us..
I want to have some outing/outdoor picture of us....
Yes i want that all..!
Ok,this some funny stories about the conversation on book some of his time..
> re you busy this weekdays?
> yes, i got classes
>after clasess ok?
> ok, then i'll let you know when i free
> no, you must tell me what time you'll be free because i need to book my friend for the fotoshoot
> eh, can we just use the tripod to take the pic of us together? you have the tripod right?
> yes, we can but i want it to be more properly, its hard to do the setting while we re the model
Ok you got it? for some people..they might think this conversation is cute..owhh..your fiancee is so cute..
No, for me it just make me more angry..
Ok, he is very timid person and not use to get along with a camera thing..and camera person (photographer)
So this pre-wed thing is just nice..to make hime more comfort when we got the real weeding photographer
And for me is more shame seeing someone capture their pic via dslr camera plus a tripod..taken by their own.
This situation for me is quite same when you capture your pic by your camera phone..that a more ashamed..
I just want that thing so badly at this moment..
Take a pre-wed picture with
my fiancee..
Please...what should i say..
Its been a long way until today..
I can't persuade him anymore..
I have no word then..
My wish is i have one free day for both of us..
To have a energatic pre-wed session..
And..
He have all the guts to being there..
Please...
i'm so tired





